Units of alcohol: 2
Banana, choc chip & apricot cakes made: 1
Random crying outburts: 2
It's official: I'm a graduate. 2:1, BA Creative & Media Writing. It's an ok degree, but winning my course award made it so much more worthwhile. Opening that letter from the university was one of the best moments of my life, as sad as that possibly sounds.My graduation day was lovely; a hot July day, photos with my course mates and a family celebratory dinner.
Now all the celebrations are over, and for the past few days I've been waking up still exhausted, and very much on the wrong side of the bed. I've no energy to do anything, and I feel close to tears a lot of the time. Baking made it a bit better, using three rather dead-looking bananas. Whoever came up with the idea of putting bananas in a cake is a genius.
Deep down, I know the biggest reason for my melancholia: my break up nearly two months ago. I should be over this by now, I tell myself, and the more I think about it the more I find faults with him and know it was for the best. But I hate him. I hate him for giving me flowers which nobody ever had before, and for telling me I'm beautiful and amazing and for being the first man to make me feel special and cherished. Most of all, I hate him for giving me hope. Where did I meet such a man? Online.
There is so much stigma attached to online dating for people my age, with the general view that it should be for people of my mother's generation. But with our busy, hectic lives in this modern age, more and more people are signing up. And I suppose, for those four or five months, it was successful.
Post-break up, I swore I'd never go back on that site or any others. But the truth is, I'm not someone who likes being alone. Now I've left university, I don't go out since all my friends are scattered around the country, and there is little opportunity to meet new people. I'm a romantic at heart, I know that most people meet at a bus stop or in a supermarket queue or some other lovely story. The internet can seem forced, like a cattle market where everyone know each other's purpose. There's nothing remotely romantic about it. But today, out of loneliness or boredom, I'm signing up again. I suppose I ought to ask for luck, but after being so hurt the first time I don't trust it quite as much. I guess I can only try.
In other news: I've been stuck on the same level of Candy Crush Saga for three months now. And, I treated my uncle's bee stick with Aspall's White Wine Vinegar. Spur of the moment, you know.
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